Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
