Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
