why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
