Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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