oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Life without a bra equals bliss.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize