Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
