my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
