Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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