:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
