insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
