I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
