where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
