Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
