How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
