You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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