i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
