Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
