when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
