oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
