so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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