I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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