you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
