What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
