I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My feet surprised me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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