Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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(925): View more from California

Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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(816): View more from Missouri

And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow

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(407): View more from Florida

Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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(701): View more from North Dakota

If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!

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