So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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