I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
