Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
