u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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