i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
