You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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