Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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