Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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