forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
