who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
