Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
