You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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