Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
