could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think i have two assholes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
