Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
and you fell through a lawn chair
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