im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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