her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
