Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
