well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
