I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
