she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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