Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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