I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
