So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
