Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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