There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
