he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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