I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
