I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
