she was so not down for the gang bang
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
