How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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