But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize